Clarity, Part Two

In the post below, I will be discussing and explaining four addition topics from the "Clarity" section in Rules for Writers. In addition, I will be providing examples I found in my own writing based on the sections I read about.


1. Active Verbs

This section discusses how to use action verbs and explains "passive voice." It explains exactly what active verbs are and when they should be used. Also, this section explains what passive verbs are and why they are inappropriate to use, I found it interesting that the book describes passive voice as "weak" because the main subject indirectly receives the verb. In addition, I liked how the book advised when using passive is actually appropriate, like when emphasizing the receiver of the action and minimizing the importance of the actor.

Example from paper:

Original Sentence:
The controversy at hand deals with genetically modified organisms, specifically, modified seeds.

Revision:
The genetically modified organisms controversy specifically targets the ethics of modified seeds for sustainable farming.

2. Parallel Ideas

This sections discusses how to balance ideas in a sentence. A writer can balance a series or ideas or even a pair of ideas. Also, the book explains when to use function words, like that, to clarify the parallelism. I found it interesting that sometimes a function word is needed; I subconsciously add it into my writing so its nice to know what a function word actually is and does. In addition, I found it strange that the book only mentions two types of parallelisms.

Example from paper:

Original Sentence: The major components of this controversy involve safety, how to label product and whether of not GMOs are beneficial.

Revision: Safety, labeling and beneficiality of genetically engineered products [8] are the major points of the GMO controversy.

Alecmconroy. "Parallel Postulate." August 1 2006 via Wikipedia. Public Domain Dedication. 

3. Emphasis

This section discusses how to use emphasis. The book explains how to "coordinate" and "subordinate"; this section was the most interesting to me because I've never been explained how to do that. Essentially, if a writer wants two ideas of equal emphasis in a sentence, he should coordinate the clauses. If he wants only one idea to be the main emphasis, the writer must subordinate the clauses. In addition, the book advises not to subordinate main ideas because the emphasis will be eliminated. The book explains how to combine choppy sentences and avoid excessive subordination/coordination.

4. Shifts

This section explains how to avoid shifts throughout a piece of writing. The book advises to maintain consistent verb tense, perspective, mood and voice. In addition, the book says to avoid shifting from indirect to direct questions because it makes the writing "awkward." I found it interesting that the book says shifting mood and voice confuses the reader. I never really consider why its inappropriate to change mood in a piece of writing, but now I know.